


if you only knew what we've been up to (i guarantee you'd keep it secret)

by ptrchrl



Series: the joken vegas fic no one needed but it's here [1]
Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friends to Married Couple to Lovers????, Las Vegas, Las Vegas Wedding, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sharing a Bed, side pairing - stelljun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:15:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26644357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ptrchrl/pseuds/ptrchrl
Summary: It only took him a moment before he doubled over, falling down the bed with a loud crash. He cursed as his butt collided with the floor."The fuck…"Josh would know that voice anywhere. It's Ken. For a short second, he felt relieved that it was someone he knew. But as his thoughts slowly started to reach its realization, the horror of it all started sinking in.He slept with Ken. On a hotel bed. In Las Vegas.
Relationships: Josh Cullen Santos/Felip Jhon Suson | Ken
Series: the joken vegas fic no one needed but it's here [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079057
Comments: 23
Kudos: 79





	1. that's what you get for waking up in vegas

**Author's Note:**

> happy joken day!!! 
> 
> i tried my best to give this prompt the justice it deserves. inspired from one of my fave fics from the buzzfeed unsolved fandom. i hope you enjoy it! ^___^
> 
> the fic it was inspired from [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14585001)
> 
> unbeta-ed

Josh has been alive long enough to know how hangovers feel like, but this one was definitely up there at the top.

Sunlight beamed directly on his face, making him squeeze his eyes shut and turn away. A throbbing pain pounded the back of his skull like an elephant stomping down on it repeatedly, and a strange taste settled in his mouth that he couldn't identify what was. The sheets were cool against his skin though, the only thing favorable in his current physical situation.

It would be fun, they said. It wouldn't hurt, they said.

As Josh's senses started to come back one by one, two weird things became apparent to him:

First, he wasn't alone in the hotel bed. A warm body pressed behind him, chest moving against his back in a slow, rhythmic pace. An arm was slung around his middle, and he was sure it was a hand that was resting on his stomach. While it wasn't necessarily unpleasant, it was weird to be the little spoon.

Second, the person next to him was _definitely_ not a woman, if the deep snores were any indication. Josh has slept with a couple of men before, but this would be the first time he doesn't have any recollection of what happened.

As he slowly became more aware, his thoughts started running a mile per minute. He searched his brain for what happened last night, but the last coherent memory he could come up with was Stell's "IT'S VEGAS TIME" followed by an onslaught of gambling and alcohol. It was all beats and dancing and partying, cold night air and blinking bright lights, then blank.

So how did he get here?

Josh wiggled around, craning his head to see who was behind him. He couldn't see much unless he completely turned around, and as he tried some more, pinpricks of pain shot at the back of his eyes.

Okay. His body feels okay, other than the headache and his aching back. It didn't feel like he had sex at all. Or maybe he wasn't the one on the receiving end?

Thinking only for a moment (even thinking made his head hurt), he finally shifted in the man's arms to face him. Josh froze.

It only took him a moment before he doubled over, falling down the bed with a loud crash. He cursed as his butt collided with the floor.

"The fuck…"

Josh would know that voice anywhere. He spent a lot of time listening to that voice sing and instruct for him to be mistaken. It's Ken. For a short second, he felt relieved that it was someone he knew. This was definitely better than being left in a bathtub of a random motel room with his guts out or something much more incriminating than that that he’d rather not think about. But as his thoughts slowly started to reach its realization, the horror of it all started sinking in.

He slept with Ken. On a hotel bed. In Las Vegas.

“Fuck,” Josh cursed, pulling the sheets off the bed to cover himself up. Ken groaned as he sat up slowly, massaging his temple.

“Why are you on my bed?!” Josh finally found his voice, looking at Ken’s incredulous bed hair and naked torso. The man didn’t seem to be aware of their current predicament yet, adding to Josh’s distress.

“What are you talking about? This is my bed.”

“No it’s not.”

“No it’s not,” Ken agreed, looking at the other bed at the other side of the room. It was only then that Josh realized the clothes and bottles scattered all over the floor, along with party streamers and some trash he couldn’t figure out what was. _What the fuck happened last night?_

He could feel Ken’s gaze on him. “What?!”

“Um…” Ken vaguely gestured to his decolletage area. Josh’s hand snapped to his neck, where he felt bumps and ridges that felt like bruises and bitemarks under his fingertips.

Turning red, Josh dashed off to the bathroom. _Fuck._

***

It was a horrible day to be alive.

After purging his stomach of its contents and scrubbing himself intensely in the shower, Josh stood by the bathroom counter. He looked at himself as he craned his neck, padding the concealer on and hoping it would be enough to mask the marks.

He still felt as if he was about to fall over from the ache of his head, but at least now he was clothed. He had also brushed his teeth and gurgled some mouthwash, which somehow made the sour taste in his mouth disappear. The fact that some of his articles of clothing can’t be found within the hotel room made him wonder where it could have been, but he decided he would rather not know. What he wished he knew though was how he got Ken to bed.

Speaking of his co-member, Ken just finished showering and was cleaning up a bit, looking for his phone and airpods. Josh thought it was astonishing how Ken didn’t seem to be too affected by what happened. Or maybe he was acting coolly for the both of them, as Josh felt like he was about to burst at the seams from embarrassment.

He was still wearing the dumb bottle cap ring on his ring finger. It was a bottle cap, but with the center removed so that his finger can pass through. It was childish to look at, yet Josh didn’t have the energy to wedge it off for now.

“Ugh.” He tossed the concealer back in the makeup bag, examining his neck again. It wasn’t too visible anymore, he supposed. Anyone else wouldn’t notice it if they didn’t look too closely. They sting though.

The room was cleaner compared to its earlier state when Josh exited the bathroom. Ken was sitting at the edge of his own bed, watching something on his phone with an unreadable gaze. 

_Aba,_ he still has time to watch anime?

Annoyed, Josh walked over and swiped the phone from his hand and held it away from him. “We need to talk.”

Ken looked up to him, surprised. “Josh, teka-”

“You can watch anime later. Let’s sort this all out first.”

“Just wait a minute,” Ken insisted, standing up and making a grab for his phone, “it’s not anime!”

Josh waved his arm away. “What else could it be?”

“A video from last night.”

Josh halted his movements, blinking in surprise. Ken took the phone back and sat back down, urging for the older to sit beside him. Warily, Josh obliged.

The screen displayed Ken’s instagram. Josh tapped play, and a video of him and Ken filled the screen. It was shot on the streets of Las Vegas, the neon lights easily giving it away. They were holding hands and laughing their ass off from something Josh had whispered, giggling like the drunks they were. 

_“Josh and I… we got married!”_ Ken informed the camera gleefully before turning back to Josh. _“C’mon, don’t be shy, show them the ring!”_

Josh’s jaw fell slack as he saw himself showing off the bottle cap ring with an air of elegance that only a drunk copying a fashion girl could muster. He was even more shocked when Video Ken laughed out loud and pulled Video Josh closer, making out with no regards of where they were. The video was cut when someone hollered at them to get a room and they started running away.

Scrolling down quickly, Josh saw more posts of them. There was one with Josh laughing, hair filled with confetti, one in one of those tacky wedding chapels, another with Ken nosing Josh’s hair at a Subway, and yet another with Josh’s hand disappearing under Ken’s-

_Oh fuck._ And the posts have hundreds and thousands of likes and comments.

Ken took the phone back and they sat in silence for a few minutes. Josh tried in vain to remember the events he just witnessed in video, but his mind wasn’t responding. Swallowing, he tried to say something.

“Th… The internet doesn’t really believe that, right?”

“The internet believes everything, Josh, especially if it’s about celebrities.”

Josh closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. _I think i’m having a migraine._

Ken stayed quiet, playing with the matching bottle cap ring on his finger. Josh could only stare at him from the corner of his eye, wondering what the hell they would do and how screwed they were.

“Even- Even if we did try to get married last night, is it possible to get married here?”

Ken shuffled a bit, procuring a white paper from his pocket and a receipt. Josh took both, anxiously reading its contents.

“A marriage license costs seventy seven dollars? How the fuck did we pay for that?!” 

“I don’t know! I’m as clueless as you are!” Ken exclaimed for the first time that day, fisting his hair as he leaned on his knees. Josh dropped the papers on the bed, standing up and pacing the length of the small room.

_This isn’t real,_ Josh tried to reassure himself. It’s one giant prank done to make them look like fools. Maybe it was the newlyweds, or maybe Justin? But no matter how much he tried to reason it out, their friends weren’t one to perform extravagant pranks like this.

“Okay so- so, we got the marriage license at eleven fifty-three at the Las Vegas Marriage Bureau. Any memories before we ended up there?”

Stopping, Josh looked at Ken, who was staring at the floor with his eyebrows pushed together in deep thought. 

“Nope. I can’t remember anything.”

Josh groaned. “How fucking drunk were we last night?”

“Drunk enough to get married. Legally.”

“Shut up I wasn’t asking you.”

Ken sent him a confused look which only reminded Josh how much his head was killing him. He needed something to soothe his head, maybe coffee and a couple of painkillers.

Sighing, Josh went to grab his jacket. “You know what, I can’t do this without coffee and food. Let’s go eat first.”

***

With food and a coffee-filled stomach, Josh finally got over his disbelief. Now, he could only think about ways of calling the marriage off.

He wasn’t familiar with the laws in the USA, but he was sure divorce was legal. If he and Ken would only shut up and not tell anyone about them getting married, then it was a problem solved. But their dumb, drunk asses went and posted everything on the internet, free for the world to see. That wasn’t necessarily something you can come back from with the amount of confidence and trust people had in the two of them.

Sighing, Josh leaned back and settled on watching Ken go through his entire stack of pancakes. The idol clearly had a big appetite, and if Josh wasn’t so stressed out, he would have laughed at the crumbs stuck on Ken’s cheeks.

“Okay. What do you think about divorce?”

Ken stopped his motions, looking at Josh like he just grew a second head.

“Really? Divorce?”

“What, you think I wanna be married to your ass for even a minute?” Josh snapped, getting more irritated.

“Well, last night you certainly didn’t have a problem with it,” Ken muttered, making Josh flush red.

“Shut up.” Josh cleared his throat. “We could get a divorce later. Let’s head down to the court house, file one, and carry on like this never happened.”

“Uh, yeaaa-no.”

“No?”

Holding up a finger, Ken waffled down the rest of his pancakes, pouring some syrup onto his spoon and shoving it to his mouth. “Fibble thrush ush tro-”

“For fuck’s sake, chew your food and swallow.”

Ken did so, downing a glass of water before speaking again. “I said, people trust us too much. You think they’ll be happy if they knew it was all fake?”

“Well, I’m out of ideas. What do you wanna do?”

For the third time since they arrived at the small breakfast club, Ken ignored him, in favor of ordering another food item. Josh kicked him under the table, earning himself a glare. “What do we do?”

“I’m thinking.”

“That’s new, coming from you.”

“Don’t get too sassy with me, I’m your husband.” Ken stuck his tongue out, knowing any mentions in relation to their current situation would make Josh shut up. “The thing is, we could just… be married, you know?”

“Dude, I don’t even like you that way.”

Ken rolled his eyes. Josh thought it was the first time he’s ever seen him do that. “I don’t like you that way too, but the only way out is through.”

That seemed counterproductive to their plan of not being married. Ken wasn’t done yet though.

“We’ll just… pretend to be married. For a bit. Then get divorced!” Ken grinned at him like a kid who’s found the solution to an elementary math problem.

Josh sighed, finding it unbelievable that he’s actually considering this. “For how long?”

Ken shrugged. “Half a year? A whole year?”

“Wha- that’s too long!”

“Well we have to make it believable! And besides, would you rather admit that we _lied_ to practically everyone, including our fans?” Ken gave him a look. The smoothie that Ken ordered arrived then, and the younger man started sipping on it happily.

Josh stared at him for what seemed to be the nth time that day. He knew that he didn’t have it in him to break their friends and families’ hearts by saying that the marriage wasn’t real. He worked so hard to get where he is now too. He wouldn’t want to ruin his reputation just because of a thing like this happening. If he was able to go through years of rigorous training, he could go half a year pretending to be married to Ken.

“Okay fine,” Josh said finally. Ken’s plans usually weren’t well thought out, but it was the only plan they had as of the moment. And it seemed like they weren’t going to get out of this mess anytime soon. But he still hoped it’s all just a dream.

How was he going to tell his mom?

***

_Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Josh wasn’t sure what you’d think about our relationship and I didn’t want to force it. I promise we’ll visit soon. Love, Ken._

***

_Yeah, I’m married. It was a blur, and I didn’t want to say no when we were so caught up in the moment. I promise I’m happy. Sorry if I didn’t tell you about us first, but I’m an adult and I know what I’m doing and what I want. I’ll bring him home during Christmas. Love you, Ma. -Josh_

***

“You disappeared and then the next thing we knew you were married!” Justin exclaimed as they lined up to have their boarding passes checked.

“I was deeply hurt that you didn’t even tell me first.” Stell nudged Ken with his elbow, his other arm slung around Sejun’s shoulders.

“Sorry, man. It was an abrupt decision,” Ken answered easily, squeezing Josh’s hand. The pretense of being husbands was already making Josh feel like an asshole, but actually acting was tiring. He figured he’d leave the talking to Ken for the meantime. It would have been unusual in normal circumstances since the dancer didn’t talk much, but with everything that happened in the last twenty four hours, he wouldn’t bat an eye about it.

“Congrats on getting married, though you could’ve picked a date that wasn’t so close to our wedding day,” Sejun teased, or at least Josh assumed he was teasing.

“Josh was really pushy,” Ken answered solemnly. Josh wished he could just melt into a puddle.

“But really, you two have been dating for nine months and we didn’t notice?” Justin jumped in on the conversation again. They stopped at the waiting area near their gate. Their flight wasn’t due in an hour in a half.

“We didn’t want you guys to act differently around us,” Josh piped in. He and Ken talked about this before they went and met with their friends again. The two of them weren’t one for planning, but the situation called for them to cover their bases if they planned to push through. Josh sat down next to Ken. Close enough for people looking at them to think they’re together, or if homophobes are around, a couple of really close friends.

“Being surrounded by couples makes me feel so single,” Justin whined.

Stell chuckled. “It’s not like we’re gonna act differently. You and Josh look really good together.”

“I’ll get something to eat. What do you want, love?” Sejun asked Stell.

“Whatever you’re getting.”

“A cheeseburger for me!” Justin said. Josh opted for a cup of coffee while Ken said he was still full. 

“Did we tell you guys where we were heading last night?” Josh asked inconspicuously. He wanted to know what they were up to without making it known that they don’t remember much of anything. Ken leaned back and splayed his arm over the backrest behind Josh, whipping out his airpods.

“No! If you did, I would have come with you two!” Justin huffed.

“We were all at the bar and the two of you were either dancing or grinding on the dance floor-” Josh’s face heated up at the image that popped up in his head, “-and then you began pulling Ken somewhere. Sejun figured you two were gonna get it on in the bathroom or something.”

Josh fought back the urge to cover his face in embarrassment. He just nodded and said he was tired before slumping back on his seat and closing his eyes. Josh rested his head on Ken’s arm, dismissing all thoughts that relate with Ken, marriage, and memories he can’t remember.

***

Sejun cornered Josh when they were two hours into the flight and he was on his way back to his seat from the bathroom.

“Are you for _real?_ ” Their leader asked him, looking straight at him with a serious expression. 

You see, Josh doesn’t like to lie, especially to Sejun. They had been friends long enough for him to value the trust he had garnered from him, and his respect for this man was way too high for him to even think about breaking it. 

But if Sejun finds out, the two of them were screwed. And to make matters worse, he and Ken would be the biggest assholes of the century, since he knew all those fans of theirs who ship the two of them would and those who look up to them would be devastated. And he didn’t want that. He didn’t want the situation to be worse than what it already is.

Josh met Sejun’s gaze. “What do you mean? About Ken and I?”

“Yeah. What else?”

“Of course it’s for real. How come you don’t believe it?”

“Because it sounded like you were lying.”

Okay. Sejun was either a good lie detector or he and Ken were bad actors.

“Well, we’re not. Ken and I are married. Like you and Stell. Legally.” That didn’t sound as good as Josh wanted it to be, but it was out there.

Sejun narrowed his eyes. Josh felt like he was just a hair from uncovering the whole truth about them getting married and if he prodded him some more, Josh might just break.

Instead of pushing through with his interrogation, Sejun sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Alright. I just don’t want you two committing to something when you’re not sure of what you are committing to yet. But then, I guess it’s too late for me to warn you, huh?”

Josh chuckled nervously. “You talk to me like I’m not older than you.”

“Would you rather I treat you like an old person, Kuya Josh?” Sejun laughed when Josh punched his arm playfully. “But really. I just wanted to look out for you. I’m really, really happy you found someone you want to share the rest of your life with. And I’m also happy it was someone I knew.”

_It’s a bit too late on the looking out part since I got married drunk,_ Josh thought, but he shook it away in favor of being touched by Sejun’s display of affection. “You know, you’re very sappy. Is that something that getting married brings?”

“If you find the right person, yes.” Sejun smiled fondly. It was meant to be teasing, but the reply Josh got had him wishing for a bond like Sejun and Stell had. They were soulmates through and through, and he was glad they finally decided to tie the knot together. “Go ahead, I gotta go to the bathroom.”

Josh nodded and continued on his way back to his seat beside Ken. The man had his airpods on, leaning against the window with a neck pillow fast asleep. He was much bearable to be around with when he’s asleep, Josh mused.

They had thirteen more hours to kill before they reached the Philippines, which meant he still had thirteen hours to piece together what they had to do once they got back. And if he could squeeze in a few hours of sleep, then it would be much better for him and his sanity.

***

Josh and Ken took the next week off with their friends congratulating and telling them to enjoy their “honeymoon”. 

Josh decided they had to live together now, as most married couples do. Ken wasn’t entirely against the idea, only whining about the trouble of transferring to another place to live. With the amount of clothes Ken had, Josh would’ve been grumpy at the thought of having to pack all of them too. Two days later, they were moving.

They got a decent apartment unit, a few minutes away from work. It had a nice living room and a neat kitchen, with only one bedroom. Another room was provided for Ken’s wardrobe and Josh’s gaming setup. It wasn’t as pricey as Josh thought it would be, but it was a hassle to bring all his stuff (and Ken’s) to the new place.

“Wow, it really feels like we’re married,” Ken commented, putting down a box. Josh pushed the closet to the corner, huffing.

“We are married.”

“I know, but like, doing married stuff. Like moving in.”

“It’s for the illusion that we’re married, Ken.”

Ken didn’t respond. Josh looked up to see that he left the room, probably to get more of the boxes outside. 

The move took most of the day. By evening, the two of them were too tired to cook, resulting in them getting takeout. Josh wasn’t even fazed by the fact that Ken ordered a whole bucket of chicken for himself only.

They ate in relative silence, save for Ken’s noisy munching and their decently-sized TV blaring the news for tonight.

“Do you… Do you think about why we did it?” Ken broke the silence first. It surprised Josh that he initiated the conversation, but then again, the past few days have been filled with surprises.

“Get married?”

“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it since… the other day.” Ken went to munch on another piece of chicken and Josh didn’t have the heart to tell him he was being messy.

Looking down on his burger steak, Josh hummed. “And what do you think?”

Ken was quiet for a long time that Josh thought he wouldn’t answer. “I don’t really know. Maybe we were lonely?”

Josh snorted. “You’re not exactly the type to be lonely.”

“What do you know?” Ken grumbled, munching more aggressively. He looked like a child, which Josh openly laughed at.

“I mean, you prefer being alone, right?”

“You know what I mean.” Ken licked his fingers. Josh watched. “Romantically. And maybe. physically.”

Josh suddenly became very conscious of his neck, resting his hand against the side of it. The marks were slowly disappearing already. He didn’t bother covering it up since they spent the whole day in the apartment complex anyway, but now, he wished he did.

“Yeah, well.” Josh replied lamely. He finds himself at a loss of words often these days.

The TV suddenly blared a loud commercial. Josh took it as a sign to get moving. He stood, cleaning up the mess on the coffee table.

***

The next hurdle came when the moon was high and the sky was dark. Josh and Ken stared at the only bed in the unit, silently deliberating what to do.

“The couch seems nice…” Ken started, glancing at Josh.

Josh scoffed. “I’m not sleeping on the couch.”

“It was worth a shot.” Ken shrugged, going further into the room and pulling his shirt over his head.

“What are you doing?”

Ken tossed the shirt on the floor and let himself fall to the bed. Josh’s eyebrows meet in the middle as he just looked at Ken’s slumped figure. He walked over and nudged Ken’s side.

“Whatttt.” Ken groaned.

“I’m not sleeping on the couch,” Josh said flatly. “Scoot over.”

Ken sighed, rolling to the right side of the bed. A few moments later, he was snoring.

Josh kicked his slippers off and laid down on his side facing away from Ken. He had been holding it off for the past few days, but now he didn’t have anything else to do except think about the events that led up to this. The past few days didn’t help his recollection of things as he thought it would. But then again, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what happened that night.

If the marks on his neck were any indication, they did as much as made out. Just the thought of kissing Ken made Josh’s cheeks heat up. What was it like? He reached up to his lips, brushing his fingers against it gently. He doesn’t remember the bullshit they did that night, but he wanted to know that specific thing. 

He imagined Ken’s lips would be supple and soft against his. Their lips moved against each other languidly, savoring the contact. A moist tongue would flick on Josh’s bottom lip and he’d part them, letting it in. He would crane his neck back and push his tongue against his, deepening the kiss. Maybe a hand would wind up under his shirt or maybe his under Ken’s,and he’d flatten his palm against Ken’s stomach, which was sure to be well-defined, if what Josh saw in the changing rooms were anything to trust.

A particularly loud snore brought Josh back to reality. He blinked, suddenly realizing he was fantasizing about kissing Ken. _Jesus fucking Christ._

He looked over his shoulder, seeing the dead weight of a sleeping Ken Suson. Sighing, he took his pillow and used it to cover his head, hoping his thoughts would go fuck off. He fell asleep as soon as he closed his eyes.


	2. i drink you down, the aftertaste

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for this 4.5K word dump idk what i'm doing now tbh
> 
> i finished this chapter instead of doing my reqs so i hope you enjoy it ^.^
> 
> (mind the change in tags)

After the few days they took off work, Josh and Ken entered the practice room together. They received looks from staff members as they made their way through the hallways, and Josh laced his fingers with Ken’s just to make it more believable. Ken squeezed his hand once before they entered the room.

They could hardly see anything when they entered. Ken went in first with an unfinished question of where the light switch was. The next thing they knew, loud party music was playing and their friends were all cheering. Josh peeked over Ken’s shoulder only to see a huge banner with the words “JUST MARRIED” on it.

“Here are the lovebirds!” Stell cheered, bouncing over to where they stood by the doorway. Ken sent Josh a panicked look which he returned with a shrug. More surprises, great.

Justin and Stell pulled the two of them to the center of the room where Josh can see held a table with a lot of food and some chairs. The party’s already in full swing when they arrived, whatever the party was for. Josh guessed there wouldn’t be work for the day.

“I thought we already celebrated your marriage in Vegas?” Ken remarked to Stell, who cackled and shoved him lightly.

“Silly, this one’s for you two! We weren’t present for the wedding, so we wanted to throw you a reception!”

“A few days after,” Josh noted, but Stell didn’t seem to pick up his sarcasm.

Most of the guests were already drunk (Josh didn’t even see the alcohol) and dancing wildly in the middle. How they got the management to agree to this was way beyond Josh. Ken seemed to be frozen in place beside him, surveying the scene unfolding in front of them.

A paper cup found its way to their hands, which Josh promptly put away after Justin turned around. They couldn’t be trusted with alcohol, that much was evident with the rings around their fingers. 

“Psst.” Josh tugged at Ken’s sleeve. Ken blinked and looked at Josh. “Are you alright?”

There’s something in the way Ken looked at him that reminded him of a child, innocent and wide-eyed. Josh thought he seemed scared out of his wits, and if the hand against his was sweaty, it wasn’t his place to tell anyone.

Ken swallowed. “Just… realizing we really  _ are  _ married. For real.”

It took him a couple of days and a big Just Married banner to get on the same level of panic Josh had had since Day 1, but at least they were on the same page now. The poor guy looks helpless. And while Josh himself wasn't over the fact that they're married, he dragged Ken to the seats at the side and sat him down.

The younger didn’t speak, so Josh didn’t either. Their hands kept each other company, Josh rubbing soothing circles on his palm. Ken's hands were a bit bigger than his, long and bony in an aesthetic sense. He pressed his fingers on the junctions and forced the tenseness out.

Ken stared at the brunt of the party. People didn’t seem to realize that they weren’t enjoying themselves at all, lost in their own joy of not having to work for the day. If Ken was going to be like this for the whole day, then it’s good news that they didn’t have to work.

After a few minutes of silence, Ken sighed, rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. Josh found his gaze landing on the ring on Ken's finger. The matching ring on his own suddenly felt heavy. He had never been afraid of commitment, but the responsibility that came with it never really crossed his mind. But with Ken looking like he’s about to burst at the seams, the reality of the contract they've drunkenly signed became much more apparent in his head.

Instead of delving deeper into that train of thought, Josh pushed it back into a box he called “for later” and pulled out his emergency supply of sanity.

“Hey.” He reached over, squeezing Ken’s thigh. “It’s just for a while, alright? We’re only gonna be married for a couple of months. It’s not that big of a deal.”

Ken looked at him. Josh knew from that look that while he had been quiet, Ken was starting to get lost within his own thoughts. Without much of a plan, Josh leaned over, pressing a soft, but firm kiss on Ken’s forehead.

When the younger didn’t pull back, Josh pressed several more down the bridge of his nose, hesitating when he hovered over Ken’s lips. 

Was it alright to kiss him? They’ve done it before, but they weren’t themselves back then. He looked at Ken’s closed eyes, wishing it was a sign for him to continue.

Deciding against it, Josh went to pull back. To his surprise, Ken curled his hand around his neck and pulled him closer, bringing their lips together. The contact made Josh shut his eyes, hand squeezing Ken’s thigh as he felt his tongue against his lips. Angling his head, Josh let Ken deepen the kiss, his other hand clutching Ken’s arm as their tongues danced against each other.

There was a holler and they pulled away, gasping. Sejun clicked his tongue, more amused than irritated, as he walked over to them with two plates of cake.

“Looks like you two need more days off, huh?” He chuckled. Josh cleared his throat and moved away. Ken didn’t respond to Sejun’s comment, eyes piercing as he stared at Josh. Getting the memo that his presence wasn’t invited, the leader moved on to the buffet.

***

Josh didn’t expect the moment they stepped inside their apartment that Ken would push him against the door and kiss him.

It’s still weird to think that this apartment was theirs. Not just Josh’s or Ken’s, but theirs. It’s also weird to think about it when he was being kissed senselessly. He could feel his knees start to buckle, and if it weren’t for Ken’s hold he may have fallen.

“Ken, wait- hmp-”

Ken bracketed his arms on either side of Josh, tilting his head and slipping his tongue into Josh’s mouth.Josh let out a soft moan, clutching the front of Ken’s shirt tightly. It was all biting and feeling. The kiss was fiery and animalistic, waking something deep in Josh’s guts. His senses were drowning in Ken’s presence, acting like some sort of aphrodisiac.

After several, long minutes, Ken pulled away. Josh thought he’d slide down against the door when Ken’s hands left his body. He caught his breath as he stared at Ken’s heaving chest. Quietness enveloped them as they stayed still in the dark. Josh was about to push Ken away when he felt him bury his face in the crook of his neck.

“Sorry.”

Josh blinked. 

This side of Ken was new to Josh. For as long as he can remember, he had never seen Ken drop his guard like this before, even if it was just the five of them. Maybe it’s because they have formed some sort of bond that night, but he wasn’t sure if he liked seeing the normally confident and cocky Ken cuddling up to him and apologizing. It wasn’t… Ken-like. But it wasn’t bad either.

“What are you apologizing for?” Josh murmured, finding his voice. He hesitantly rested his hand on Ken’s dark curls, running his fingers through it.

“For kissing you.”

“You’re apologizing for kissing me?” Josh found it amusing. He can feel Ken’s pout against his neck, his lips brushing against his skin.

“I didn’t ask if I could.”

It took Josh a moment before he replied. “You don’t have to.”

At that, Ken pulled away looking at Josh in the eye questioningly. Josh kind of wanted to take back what he said, but taking it back would be lying that he didn’t like it. Besides, they were already doing enough lying as it is.

“Well, yeah. I-I mean, you don’t see married couples ask for permission to kiss all the time,” he reasoned out, cursing himself for stuttering. Ken kept his gaze. It was all too intense in such a short amount of time that Josh found himself staring on the floor. It only took a second before he felt Ken’s lips on his forehead, doing the same thing he did back at work. Josh blinked as Ken pulled away, making for the kitchen.

They don’t talk about what happened again.

***

A few weeks later, Josh was ready to think about that night in Vegas.

What happened was this: he woke up on an early Sunday morning, a warm body pressed against his back. The line that once existed in the middle of the bed has dissolved in the weeks they’ve been living together, and now he finds himself frequently issued with Ken’s morning back hugs.

He wasn’t so much against it. It was nice. He had grown accustomed to being the little spoon, as what people called it. The warmth that Ken’s embraces brought gave him a sense of protection, which was unusual considering that he didn’t find himself as a person who couldn't protect himself.

Josh tried hard not to move so much, only stretching his arms and legs in the minimal space he was given. Ken breathed out directly against Josh’s ear, making him shiver.

He was about to get out of his hold when Ken suddenly rolled his hips against his ass in a slow, sure motion, making Josh freeze. There was a definite hardness against him, and while he was also sporting a hard-on, it was only because he has one every morning. Not getting laid for three months manifested in uncomfortable morning wood.

Ken’s hand skidded against his stomach, just under his belly button. “Hmmm.”

While Josh had never really been desperate for sex (he never had the need to be desperate, he attracted people to him more than often), three months was a long period of abstinence. His sleep-drunk mind gave him the courage to push back against Ken’s rolling hips. He bit his bottom lip, testing the waters as he moved against Ken a couple of times...

“Josh, what are you doing?” Ken mumbled directly to his ear, voice rough and deep from sleep.

Josh swallowed. “I don’t know. You started it.”

“Do you wanna-” Ken paused. Josh thought it may be an invitation.

“...I dunno.”

A second passed and Ken sighed, his hot breath tickling Josh’s neck. Then he was pulling away, distangling his limbs from Josh and getting off the bed.

“I’m gonna go shower,” he said, looking down as he slipped on his slippers. Josh hummed in agreement, watching Ken’s retreating back enter the bathroom. He wondered if Ken would jacked off in there. He felt bad about himself for thinking that.

A few minutes later, Ken exited the bathroom and Josh rushed inside, turning the shower's water cold. He washed himself perfunctorily, ignoring his traitorous dick’s demands with a glare.

When he walked into the kitchen, he found that Ken surprisingly didn’t set the kitchen on fire. Bread crisped in the oven toaster and the coffee machine hummed as it did its job. Ken himself sat on one of the dining chairs, hood up and leaning on the table with his elbows as he scrolled on his phone. His hair stuck to his forehead, still wet from the shower. The light spearing through the curtains made the scene seem more domestic than Josh thought it was meant to be, sending little flutters in his stomach. He pushed the thought back into its box and went to cook some eggs.

They eat breakfast in mutual silence. In the time that they were living together, it was never this quiet. It was either discussions of work and groceries or Ken’s anime playing in the background. Josh thought he might have crossed a line back in the bedroom, but then again, Ken did kiss him unbidden a few months back. 

Deciding to break the silence, Josh spoke up. “Hey, I have a personal question.”

“Questions are answered after coffee,” Ken responded, not looking up from his phone as he shoved a piece of egg into his mouth. The coffee maker pinged.

“Have you… slept with anyone?” Josh asked. “I mean, these past few months.”

Ken huffed and grumbled something incoherent under his breath that Josh wasn’t able to catch.

“Come again?”

“No, I didn’t,” Ken answered snappily, stabbing the poor piece of egg. Josh frowned, tilting his head.

“So what do you do about it?”

“Nothing. What  _ is _ there to do?”

“You could…”  _ have asked me.  _

“What?”

“Well… same.” Josh cleared his throat, playing with his toast. “You could sleep with anyone though. I wouldn’t mind.”

Ken looked up to him with an unreadable expression. “Yeah… no. I’m not the type of person who cheats on their husband, Josh.”

The word husband still made Josh feel flustered. “We’re not really married, you know? I mean, just technically married, but not because we want to be.”

“...Still. Marriage is a contract, or some shit like that. I’m not going to sleep with anyone else while I’m still married to you, dumbass.”

Josh felt his heart skip a beat.

“You’ve slept with guys before, right?”

Ken shrugged. “A couple.”

Josh was itching to ask how many, but decided against it. He changed his line of questioning. “What happened earlier?”

“This isn’t just one question.”

“Just answer me.”

“We don’t have to talk about it.” Ken scratched his cheek.

“But I want to talk about it.”

“...Fine. What is there to talk about?”

Josh thought about it for a moment. “You could’ve… you know, stayed.”

Leaning back on his seat, Ken rubbed his face with a hand. “You said you didn’t know what was happening.”

“Yeah, because you didn’t tell me what you were doing.”

“I didn’t want you to think that I was… like, take advantage. It really isn’t like that.”

“You could’ve decided to be this conservative when you decided to kiss me without permission,” Josh said sarcastically. Ken frowned a little and leaned over the table.

“Making out is different from actually having sex.”

"I know that."

Ken ignored him in favor of getting up and pouring himself a cup of coffee. Josh stood up and came closer, leaning back against the counter. He watched Ken for a few moments, forming his thoughts.

“Ken,” Josh called out softly as he started pouring copious amounts of milk and sugar into his mug. “How much do you remember?”

“Just bits and pieces,” Ken answered, stirring his coffee a little too loudly.

“Then, what do you remember?”

Ken paused. His hands pressed against the sides of the mug as he hummed, thinking. Josh stared at him anticipatingly.

“Well, there was definitely a lot of touching and kissing.” Ken laughed when Josh punched his arm playfully. “It’s true though. You were especially clingy.”

“Oh please.”

“And… and there were red flowers in the wedding center. Not sure what flowers they were. Then there was also the reception at a Pizza Hut, I think.”

Josh could vaguely conjure images of it happening, but it frustrated him that he couldn’t think about it on his own.

“What happened in the hotel room?”

Ken stared at the cupboard. Slowly, a grin spread on his face. Josh’s eyebrows met in the middle.

“Well, it was a bit wild. You were very… enthusiastic.” He then cackled about the distant memory.

“Enthusiastic? How?”

“You could say you’re very eager to accommodate.” Ken brought his mug to his lips, sipping from it and trudging back to his seat. Josh stood there, thinking about what that meant.

***

Turns out, Josh couldn’t stop thinking about it over the course of the week.

After a gruelling day of practice and interviews, they were both out with their friends at a local bar, winding down and talking. The lights were dim and it was dark out, but that was fine because tomorrow was a day off and they can get as drunk as they want to be.

Normally, Josh and Ken would be careful when alcohol and their friends were together in one place. But it’s been months since they last let themselves loose, and it wasn’t like their friends were still watching them like hawks. It became an accepted fact that Josh and Ken were together.

It must be a side effect of the alcohol, but Josh felt liberated. The lack of sexual contact made him only a bit jittery and desperate, which was really not hard to satisfy with the number of potential partners around. But no, he wasn't the kind of guy who cheats on his partner. If Ken can do it, he also could. So the only way to get what he wants is to actually talk to the guy he accidentally married.

Downing one final shot for bravery, Josh marched over to Ken. The man sat at the bar nursing a beer. The black suit jacket he wore cling to his body snugly, showing off lean muscles even clothed. His hair curled over his forehead in the same way it was styled earlier. Josh wondered how Ken could keep his hair that way without being revolted by the amount of product in his hair.

“Hey bub,” he greeted, slinging an arm over Ken’s shoulders.

“Bub?” Ken asked, glancing at Josh amused. 

“I can’t call my husband ‘bub’?”

“You can, but you’re drunk.” Ken chuckled.”We don’t call each other bub.”

“I think I can call you whatever I want,” Josh said boldly, stepping closer into Ken’s personal space. His lips brushed against Ken’s ear. “Or would you rather something else? Baby? Darling? Mahal?”

This made Ken shake his head, sipping on his drink. His cheeks tinted pink, a sign of inebriation. Josh thought it made him look attractive in the minimal, soft glow of the bar lights.

They were so close together. A thrill passed through Josh’s spine at the thought of having their friends see them like this. It wasn’t weird seeing them pressed against each other like this because they were husbands, and married couples have some unspoken rule that they can flaunt their mate anytime they want. It was like he was putting on a show, though a part of it was real. He leaned closer, whispering. “Let’s dance?”

Ken allowed himself to be dragged out of his seat and into the dance floor. The blur of lights and sweaty bodies reminded Josh of Vegas. 

It was more grinding than it was dancing. Ken breathed against his ear, hand travelling from his waist to his ass, pressing down for a second before moving back up. A shiver passed through his spine when he felt Ken's teeth graze the shell of his ear.

Electricity ran through Josh’s veins as Ken held his arm. He looked up to be met by the intensity of Ken’s dark orbs, gulping at how close they were. The thumping sounds of the speakers seem distant as all his senses screamed  _ Ken  _ when their lips found its way against each other.

***

“What was that?”

It was the first thing Ken asked when they got back home. Josh cricked his neck, yawning as he slipped off his shoes.

“What did you think it was?”

Ken paused. Josh had become accustomed to his moments of silence nowadays. ‘Were you flirting with me?”

“Psh, no.” Josh shrugged off his jacket and tossed it over the couchy. “Unless…” He looked back at Ken, who still stood at the entrance with his hair now all over the place (courtesy of Josh) and his dress shirt crinkled. The dancer bit his lip before entering further into the room, following suit with shedding his own jacket.

“You know what we should do? Lay down ground rules,” Ken said, kicking his shoes off and sending them flying off on the living room floor. Josh would make sure to scold him later.

“Ground rules for what? Sex?”

“If that’s what you mean.” Ken sat down on the couch, nodding to the other side. Josh sighed and obliged. “Okay. You said I could sleep with anyone, so you should be able to sleep with anyone too.”

“Yes, but-”

“Just answer yes or no.”

Josh furrowed his eyebrows, but nodded.

“I said I wouldn’t sleep with anyone while I’m still married. Do you think that’s okay?”

“...Yes?”

“But if… if I sleep with my husband, that wouldn’t be weird, right?”

Josh wanted to laugh at the ridiculous question, but he resisted. “Yes, it won’t be weird.”

“And you wouldn’t think I’m taking advantage of the situation?”

“No.”

“And we’ll still be friends after, right?”

“...Yes.”

Ken moved closer, putting a hand on Josh’s thigh. “So if I kiss you and take you to the bedroom, you won’t hold it against me?”

Josh licked his lips, meeting Ken’s eyes. “No.”

A beat. One, two.

“I’m kissing you.”

“Be my guest.”

***

Slow and intimate. Somehow, it’s not how Josh thought their first time would be. He expected fire and passion, melding together until they were both nothing but ash. Not like how reverently Ken peeled his clothes one by one, or how he peppered his stomach with kisses.

Ken took his time staring at Josh’s nakedness. He suddenly felt conscious, but Ken spoked up. 

“You’re really beautiful.”

Josh thought of a way of how they could still be friends after this. It doesn’t seem like there was one.

They make out for a while, Josh tugging Ken’s pants off in the process. The dancer focused on kissing him, and, God, was he really good at it. Josh sucked on Ken’s tongue, forcing out a moan from the younger. Ken ran his tongue over Josh’s bottom lip before nipping it gently. His tongue slid into his mouth, exploring and eager. Ken tasted like beer and cherry chapstick.

Ken started to make his way down to his neck. Tweaking a nipple, stroking over his ribcage. He kissed his way down the center of Josh’s chest down to his stomach until he proceeded to take Josh apart— gentle and careful, blissfully wet and warm that makes him arch his back. Josh can tell by the twisting in his gut that he’s not going to last long at all. No one’s touched him for months, and no amount of perfunctory jerking off in the shower can prepare a person for this kind of focused attention.

“Fuck, Ken, I — If you don’t— I can’t...”

Then Ken was backing off, pressing kisses against his thigh, sending tingles up his spine. He wrapped a hand around Josh’s shaft and stroked languidly, pace slowing more so than it was before.

“It’s okay to come though.”

“Not when we’re still not…” Josh doesn’t continue the sentence, feeling his cheeks color. Ken chuckled and pressed a kiss on his cheek.

“Cute.”

Josh gasped when Ken’s fingers went lower, brushing against his hole. He spread his legs a bit wider.

“Do you want to do it this way or…?” Ken murmured. It was sweet how he was giving him an option.

“This is okay.”

Ken nodded, pressing his lips against Josh’s thigh again before he got up and took the lube and condom underneath the mattress.

“You keep lube under the mattress?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Drawers have a purpose, you ass.” Josh snorted.

“I don’t think you’re in any position to call people ass right now,” Ken teased and Josh wanted to fling a pillow over his head.

Josh took a sharp inhale when Ken pressed a finger inside him. It had been a long time since anyone touched him there, and the stretch made him a bit uncomfortable.

“Hey, relax.” Ken pressed a kiss against his forehead. He willed himself to lose the tension.

The finger moved inside him in minute movements, testing. A few moments later, another finger entered him and Josh whined a bit, holding on to Ken’s arm as Ken peppered his face with kisses.

Then he hit that spot and Josh keened, gripping Ken tighter and mind actually going blank for a second. Ken smirked against his neck as he rubbed against that spot repeatedly, forcing out little gasps and moans from him.

“Fuck, fuck, shit,” was all Josh could say. It wasn’t articulate, but who would be articulate in this situation anyway?

Ken took his time fingering him, adding another finger in. By the time he was done, Josh was a mess, eyes glassy and mouth red, making Ken want to kiss him again so he did.

Josh only remembered things in snippets after that, waves of sensory memories: rolling the condom on Ken timidly, Ken pulling him by the waist as he pushed into him slowly and carefully, filling him up satisfyingly in a way that made him want to cry.

“Hang on—wait,I-I need a minute,” Josh said, blinking his eyes as he tried to get accustomed to Ken’s size. From the way Ken breathed heavily against his neck, it seemed like he needed a minute too.

And then Ken was moving, the pressure inside Josh becoming stronger as he swiveled his hips in time with Ken’s, his hand on his dick as he brought himself close to the edge and over it in an embarrassingly short amount of time.

Ken leaned down and kissed him to muffle the litany of curses coming from his own mouth, surprisingly dirty, dirty things that Josh never thought he’d say, but now, only sounded hot.

And finally, coming without warning, achieving that high. The liberation in the way Josh felt Ken’s heartbeat against his, the ease of which Ken suddenly became boneless after coming into Josh with a low groan, sweaty face pressed to Josh’s neck.

Then they were silent, basking in the afterglow. Josh laughed and put an arm over his eyes.

***

After, Ken was meek and gentle. It came close to Josh feeling like he was being babied, and he found that he didn’t mind at all. 

As Ken massaged the shampoo on his head in the shower, Josh couldn’t help but think that they were past the point of just being married into a new, uncharted zone of being married and actually liking each other. And if they were doing this backwards, that was for them to deal with.

“That was…” Ken broke the silence and Josh hummed, feeling sleep claw in his insides.

“We did alright,” Josh said and blinked. “No, we did great. You were great.”

Ken chuckled and washed the shampoo off of Josh’s hair.  _ I love you,  _ Josh thought.  _ Is it okay if I love you? _

They finished showering and got into pajamas, snuggling up in bed. Ken buried his face on Josh’s mint scented hair, an arm slung over his midsection.

“I do too, you know.”

“What?”

“Love you.”

“Oh.” Josh stared at the wall opposite him. He didn’t realize he said that out loud.

“Yeah, I love you too.”

Ken sighed and pulled Josh to him closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be a part 3, apparently. i didn't think it would be that long. so much for a oneshot. -.-


	3. kiss the single life goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo i'm here again and finished this instead of my reqs whoo (i'm prolly failing but eh)
> 
> this took way too long to write, simply because i lost my will to write it for a few weeks and then brian (my brain) just decided "hey let's finish up that fic so you can focus on your comms and studies ey?"
> 
> so here's the finale! i don't think i've meticulously researched about taxes and international law here but i'd like everyone to know i tried my best at 12mn and also this is fiction anyway. let's pretend gay marriage and divorce is legal in the phil. ^ _ ^
> 
> enjoy! (i'll edit this unbeta-ed 3.5K dump later, or like, never)

The months passed by and Josh still wondered if they were friends or lovers.

Sure, he and Ken take turns cooking breakfast. He sometimes gets up earlier than Ken to prepare, only to feel arms snaking their way around his torso and a chin hooking itself on his shoulder. He feels featherlight kisses down his nape, sending shivers down his spine. He had to lower the fire to keep the food from burning. They got too distracted that breakfast was served an hour later.

And so what if they make time to buy groceries together? That was something roomies do. Ken kept urging Josh to buy more than two kilos of chicken; he always argued it was the only sustenance he needed in life. Josh pretended to take three kilos but left two before they left the meat section.

Then there were the nights where they can't get their hands off of each other, when they don't even reach the bedroom before one of them ruins the other. Sometimes it's fast and rough. Other times it was sweet and gentle. Josh never knew which one he preferred, but he knew he loved every second of it.

The line between being friends and lovers was blurry. He walked down the border of that line several times only to discover he was stepping over it all along, lost in the uncharted territory of a more intimate relationship. 

And the thing that's scary was that he's okay with it.

***

Ken wanted to introduce Josh to his parents. Josh personally thought it was unnecessary, but it's mostly because he felt as if they'd easily determine that they weren't supposed to be married, and he wasn't ready to face that fact again.

"C'mon, it's almost Christmas," Ken urged him as they were snuggling on the couch watching some anime the dancer had plugged in. As much as Josh's interest was piqued, he had long since tuned it out in favor of thinking about the holidays and Ken's warmth behind him.

"Yes, almost Christmas. That means we still have a few days to decide whether or not I'd come over to your parents' house."

"But I've already talked to Sir Robin about how we'd take the next few days." Ken pouted against Josh's neck. Josh sighed. 

"What would we even tell your parents? You haven't seen them since we got married."

"Yeah. But they're not opposed to it." Ken hummed. "And besides, they like you."

"They do?"

"Yup."

That shut Josh up for quite a bit.

***

Two parts of Josh were arguing whether or not they should push through with visiting Ken's parents. 

The sensible although paranoid half of him believed they shouldn't. A couple who had been married for years could easily pick them apart and call them fakes, effectively shunning them for eternity. Maybe not them, just Josh.

The other, more romantic and smittened half wanted to see if what Ken said was really true, that his parents liked him. Which, suffice to say, was wishful, since Josh's interactions with them were short and mild. But with the way Ken talked more and more about them (just the mere fact that he talks more when it's about his parents) made him _want_ them to like him.

In a battle of practicality and egocentricity, Ken's happiness won. Either way, he's been rethinking everything ever since they got to the airport well on their way to Zamboanga. So yeah, his option of not going has already expired.

"Earth to Josh."

Josh blinked, looking to his left. Ken tilted his head at him. "Are you okay?"

"...Yeah. I'm fine."

"You don't seem like it."

"Yeah. No. Just thinking."

Ken pat his thigh and squeezed. "What about?"

Josh hummed and took Ken's hand in his own, marvelling at his long and sleek fingers. "Just your parents."

"Ma and Pa? They're nice. You've met them before."

"Yeah, I know. It's just that this time it's different. They knew me as your friend and not as your…" Josh trailed off, not wanting to breach the subject.

It may just be Josh's imagination, but they have been avoiding the topic for who knows how long. It's in the way Ken suddenly stops talking or the way they find something else to do when it comes too close.

Honestly, Josh's still scared. It wasn't all smooth sailing, but it was one of the best parts of his twenty or so years of existence. He wouldn't exchange it for the world.

Ken nodded. “They’re gonna love you. I’m sure.”

All Josh could do was nod. He couldn’t argue much with Ken these days.

***

It wasn't a surprise that Ken's family was accommodating. It did surprise Josh, however, that they treated him as if he was their own.

They lived in a humble two-story house with a rooftop. Josh didn't mind that it looked a bit drab and old. Growing up with just having little to get by helped him learn a lot of things that people take for granted, and this was just one of those things. 

Ken was positively glowing when they got there. His smiles made Josh wonder if his cheeks were aching at all. He was basically a walking, talking ball of energy that could rival Stell or Justin, and that's high praise for the guy who typically sat quietly with his airpods stuck in his ears. It was like he was revitalized just being around the people that he cared about, and Josh can't help but feel displaced in a home of a loving family.

So far, no one was suspicious of the two of them being togethert. And it didn't seem like they would be when Ken's mother set him aside just to thank him for putting up with her soon. Josh told her it was his pleasure. And in all honesty, it was.

The scenery from their terrace was pretty. The sun was still high when they landed, and it was already on its way down by the time they reached the house. Enraptured by the scenery, Josh settled in the terrace with a cup of coffee and just watched the horizon turn into different, pretty hues.

It's quieter here, he mused. Distant laughs echoed from downstairs, taken by the wind. He sipped his drink and wondered when has his life ever been this domestic. Picking out rugs for their place, planning dinner for two, visiting his husband’s family for Christmas. He wouldn’t have predicted this would happen, but he didn’t predict he’d be married to Ken either, so it’s just fair.

“Hey.”

Josh looked up. Ken sat down on the bench next to him, own cup of coffee in hand.

“Why’re you up here?”

“I should be asking you that.” Ken gave him a look. “You suddenly disappeared.”

“Don’t you want to spend more time with your family?”

The dancer hummed and leaned back against the wall. “Yeah. But you’re also family, so…”

“What? You’re choosing me over them?” Josh teased, a smile spreading on his face.

“Don’t be so full of yourself.”

“I’m not. It’s just that you’re here rather than there. You like me better?”

“You don’t get to let me choose between you and them, you jackass.” Josh chuckled.

“So?”

“So what?”

“Why are you up here?”

Josh sighed and looked back at the setting sun. “Well,” he started, after being quiet for a while, “it’s just that your family’s so nice.”

Ken leaned on his knees then, looking at him. 

Second-thinking his decisions was a thing Josh always did, even if he’s normally the confident one in their group of friends. In relationships, he was always the more forward one. At this moment, Josh wasn’t sure what he wanted to be. It was hard to bluff in front of Ken, who for the past months have been witness to almost all aspects of his life, including breakdowns and low moments. He’d like to say he knew Ken as much as he knew him, but even then, he wasn’t sure. Indecisiveness was an asshole Josh didn’t welcome, yet it still stayed.

He decided to answer the question anyway. “It’s, you know. Your family. But also, in a sense, my family. So it’s your side of the family.” Ken nodded, encouraging Josh to continue. “And, you know? It’s just weird that I’m here. Don’t you? I mean I’m standing on the rooftop of the house you grew up in.”

Ken hummed in thought. “I mean, I guess. Actually…” he cleared his throat, “I’ve been thinking about that ever since we got here.”

Josh tilted his head and scrunched his eyebrows. Ken took one look at him and chuckled, reaching over to unscrunch them. “It’s weird having you here. But I really don’t mind. Especially since you fit the image.”

“What image?”

“Of being part of the family, of course.” Ken grinned boyishly, both teasing and sincere. His teeth were in full display, unruly hair half-hidden underneath the hood of his black fire hoodie. Josh just looked at him for a moment. The thought of how lucky he was to be married to this guy never left his mind, but he was reminded of it again.

Sometimes, Ken was dismissive and aloof, uncaring of his surroundings and often bordering on insensitive. But there were times like this where he seemed so sure of what he said and did that Josh had no choice but to believe him.

Ken patted Josh’s thigh and squeezed. “C’mon, don’t think about it too much. You’re alright and we’re alright. Besides, I told you they liked you and I was right. Mom would definitely want you to come back next time.”

“Your mom’s a really nice woman.”

“She is.” Ken smiled. “Let’s go rejoin them downstairs, yeah?”

Josh smiled back and nodded. He chugged the remainder of his coffee before standing up. “Yeah, let’s.”

They spent Christmas there and New Year’s at Josh’s parents’ house.

***

Josh reached that point where he found himself ready to take that talk.

It was one fine Saturday afternoon. The holidays had long since passed, and the heat of summer was starting to creep in. They didn’t have a schedule for the day, so they were both at home. Josh decided he’d do his taxes.

He trudged through the living room to the dining table, laying down all his papers and laptop. Then he froze. How did taxes work with married couples? He 

“Ken!”

“What?” The younger hollered back from their bedroom.

“We don’t have our marriage contract.”

Ken almost instantly appeared in the dining room. “What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. We don’t have the contract. I’m about to do my taxes and I realized we have no idea how the fuck taxes work for married people.”

They were both silent for a while. Ken looked at Josh, then at the laptop. Soon enough, they were both frantically scouring the internet.

“I can’t believe you forgot about our marriage contract,” Josh fumed.

“I wasn’t the only one drunk that night,” Ken snapped back, typing in fast.

Quietly, Josh’s world was falling apart. Did they even have a contract? They could’ve just jumped in with the whole married thing without checking if they were actually married. Receipts from the internet were not to be trusted, Josh knew, but why did they believe it so easily? Why were they so assured?

The search had brought up some links about Vegas weddings. He clicked the one for Clark County.

“What date was it?” Ken asked, fingers hovering over the keyboard.

“Um, July. July… July something.” Josh paced behind Ken, trying to remember the date.

“How can you forget our wedding date?”

“How can you?!”

Ken let out a sigh. “Chill, wait. Stell and Sejun’s reception date.”

“Eighteenth?” Josh’s eyebrows scrunched. “Yeah, I think that’s right. July seventeen or eighteen.”

Ken quickly typed it in. Josh could hear the blood pumping through his veins as he waited for the page to load. It was the most gruelling fifteen seconds of his life. He could feel Ken was just as distressed as he was with how hard he was looking at the screen like it’s about to escape or something.

There was a mutual sigh of relief when the screen showed there was, in fact, a Josh Cullen Santos married to a Felip Jhon Suson in Las Vegas, on the 18th of July, 2020. Josh collapsed to a chair. Ken went off to get water, handing him a glass before he chugged down his own.

Heartbeats finally calmed, Josh regarded Ken standing next to the table, staring at their names on the screen. It dawned to him how he wasn’t ready for this to end. For someone who was adamant they would get a divorce, Josh couldn’t find the heart to go through with it, and that was fine. They were in love. They’ve fallen in love in the course of a few months because of a drunk marriage. 

This was something Ken should know, because if they weren’t on the same page then Josh would much rather have the ground eat him up and never come back to the land of the living again.

“Ken-”

“You know, it’s tedious.” Ken cut him off, still looking at the screen.

“What?”

“You know… getting a divorce.” He shrugged and glanced at Josh. “I mean, we’re both busy people. We don’t have time to, you know, run by the papers.”

Josh blinked. Slowly, the cogs on his brain started working and he could see what Ken was on about. “I mean… yeah. We rarely have vacant time. And when we do, we’re too tired to do anything.”

Ken nodded almost too fast and too enthusiastically. “Yeah! We could stay like this for a few months more.”

“Yeah, we could. We’ll have time eventually,” Josh allowed. Ken tapped his foot and looked back at the screen. A few seconds later, he stepped closer to Josh, brushing his hair off of his forehead and kissing it chastely.

“I love you,” Ken said like he meant it, “I really do.”

“Yeah, I know.” Josh breathed out, surprised that he was holding his breath. “I love you too.”

***

July came around, and they didn’t get divorced. Instead, they threw together a small party. It wasn’t an anniversary party, but their friends and family were invited. Josh’s mom gave them a blender that Josh was sure neither of them would use, but they thanked her anyway. After the party, Ken took Josh out for dinner at a fancy restaurant.

September rolled by, and they still haven’t had the time. Ken, however, found a stray cat and decided to adopt it. Josh couldn’t say no when he used his puppy eyes. He did end up paying for the vaccines and check ups though.

December dawned upon them. Stell and Sejun gave them couple sweaters as a gift. Ken’s cousin introduced Josh as Ken’s husband, and no one said a thing. The words rung true and Josh just puffed his chest out a bit every time he was introduced like that in the family reunion.

At the end of the year party at Stell and sejun’s place, Sejun joined Josh in watching the fireworks light up the night sky in their backyard.

“I’m glad you’re happy with him,” the leader said, nodding in Ken’s direction, where he and Ken were playing with the flares.

For a while, Josh just took in his life so far, from being drunk in a hotel room to being in Stell and Sejun’s backyard, and said, “Yeah, me too.”

***

**Las Vegas, Nevada. July 18, 2020**

Giggling and very well drunk, Ken and Josh ran down the street of glowing neon signs and blaring pop music, lost in the midst of Vegas.

“Vegas, baby!” Ken exclaimed, imitating a guitarist as he rifted. Josh laughed openly at that, slinging an arm around Ken’s shoulder.

Their running has reduced to an unfocused walk, each holding on to each other to keep from falling down. But it was the best night ever, Josh thought, and he wouldn’t change it for the world. 

They found themselves near the railings next to the fountain show. Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You started playing. Ken laughed and took Josh’s hand.

“C’mon, let’s dance.”

“To this? This isn’t even a pop song!”

“Then let’s slow dance, you idiot. C’mon.” Ken tugged on Josh’s hand again. Josh relented, putting his hands on Ken’s shoulders, swaying to the beat. Ken held Josh’s waist firmly, all the while grinning wide.

“What are you so fucking happy about?”

“You’re the girl.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake-”

Ken laughed and avoided Josh’s swing at him. “Hey, hey, calm down.”

“Calm down, he said. Let’s go explore the city drunk, he said,” Josh mumbled and Ken chuckled.

“You followed me anyway.” Josh couldn’t say anything at that.

They were just quiet, for the while, enjoying the surreal and magical feel of the moment, feet swaying at the slow beat of _I need you baby, and if it’s quite alright, I need you baby._ They probably looked like idiots dancing in the walkway, but Josh couldn’t care less. He was having fun.

“You know, it’s crazy how Stell and Sejun are married now,” Ken spoke up. “I mean, I knew they’d be, but having it actually here? Insane. It’s just bullshit, you know?”

“Hey, don’t call Sejun and Stell’s wedding bullshit,” Josh scolded. “Though yeah, it’s crazy.”

“Wish I could be crazy like that.”

“You’re already crazy as it is, you ass.”

Ken shoved Josh and he just laughed, grabbing onto Ken’s coat before he fully lost his balance.

“If I’m crazy, then you’re not crazy at all,” Ken retorted.

“What does that mean? _Ikaw yung buang sa’ting dalawa eh.”_

“Yeah, that’s right. That also means you’re not adventurous at all.” Ken smirked.

“I am too!”

“You’re really not.”

“I _am,”_ Josh stressed. Ken shrugged.

“Okay, if you say so.”

“...”

“What?”

“You don’t believe me?”

“Didn’t say that.” Ken hummed.

“Fuck you. I can be adventurous if I wanna be.”

“Easy there. You’re getting all worked up.” Ken laughed.

Josh grumbled and shove his hands into the pockets of his jacket, going off at a random direction. Ken followed him until they were back in pace again, walking the alcohol off. Josh’s drunkeness made him easily irritated, and Ken’s teasing wasn’t making things easy.

As they walked further, they passed by the marriage bureau. Josh suddenly stopped. Ken continued walking for a few more steps before he realized Josh wasn’t walking with him. He turned around.

“What are you standing there for?” Ken called out. He started his way back.

Josh looked at the building with excited eyes, having just found an idea. He turned from the building to Ken. “Let’s get married.”

Ken scrunched his eyebrows at the proposition. “What?”

“You said I’m not crazy or adventurous. But I am. So let’s get fucking married.” Josh’s eyes were wide like he was a lunatic. Well, maybe he is. He doesn’t know at this point.

“Did you just confess to me?” Ken snorted.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Ken laughed out loud. “You’re, uh, serious then? Where’s the ring?”

Josh groaned and fumbled over his pockets, trying to find something close that could resemble a ring. He did find one: a bottle cap stabbed in the middle so there’d be a hole in it. He immediately dropped down to the ground and held the ring up.

“Felip, uh, Jhon Suson,” Josh started, looking up at Ken, who was cackling at his bold display, “listen to me, you dumb shit!”

“Is that how you propose?”

“Yeah, to you, you asshole. Listen up.” Josh cleared his throat. “Ken Suson, will you, uh, make me the happiest man on earth by accepting this marriage proposal?”

“A simple will you marry me would have fit. Get on up here,” Ken laughed, tugging Josh up by the sleeve. He didn’t budge though, and people passing by were already staring. 

“Nu-uh. Not until you say yes.”

“Oh my God-”

“Just say yes!”

“Yeah, okay, fine! Yes! Let’s get married! Now stand up,” Ken pulled him up and he let him. Josh grinned widely.

“Who’s crazy now?”

“Alright, you win. You’re crazy.”

“Yessss,” Josh singsonged, pumping his fist in the air. “Oh fuck, you gotta wear the ring too!”

Ken rolled his eyes but offered his hand anyway. Josh took it and slipped the bottle cap ring with difficuolty. They were both giggling by the time it was in place. Ken pulled Josh closer and pecked his lips. They parted, smiling at each other like idiots.

It didn’t matter if they won’t remember this the next morning. Or the following days after that. But there would always be that feeling where you know inside that it was the best night ever. And for now, that was enough.

In the midst of drunkeness and ungoverned decisions, Josh and Ken stepped inside the marriage bureau.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos, comments, and constructive criticism are welcomed. :D


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